Trait of Flaw?

I was told last night that I am a very analytical thinker. At first I wasn't sure if that was a compliment of a trait I hold or a criticism of a flaw that I wasn't aware of (I thought I was pretty aware of my flaws and shortcomings so this was a bit of a surprise to me). However the more I've thought about it, and admittedly analyzed it I have come up with a conclusion as well as an explanation. If you have any input I'd be more than happy to get feedback.

Although I didn't realize it before Kendra pointed it out to me, I can now see that I am clearly an analyzer. I find myself often times carefully choosing my words and trying to gauge the response they get as well as whether they are saying what I want them to say. I also noticed that I miss out on fun and spontaneous moments (such as throwing the most amazing girl in the world in the snow and giving her the snow bath of a lifetime) because I think too much of the consequences or possible consequences of the actions not only from the person directly involved but also by those around me who are not directly involved. First let me explain where this process came from and why I adopted it.

I think I was born to be a lawyer. Although I don't like contention and I absolutely HATE contention with those I love the most, I am also one that enjoys a good argument. When I say argument I do not mean that I like to fight. I hate fighting but I love a good healthy argument. If you have any questions about what constitutes a 'good healthy argument' and how it differentiates from a 'fight' then feel free to ask and I'll explain but that is not the focus of my post tonight. I digress... In order to argue effectively one must gauge the response of their words on the opponent in order to find wholes in their argument or resolve. One must also choose words wisely to prevent being backed into a corner or having their words morphed into something they do not believe. I also find that it is really important to look at the facts and look at ideas and arguments and weed out the cold hard facts from the fallacies or not so firm facts. In order to do this it takes a great deal of analyzing. So, all in all I think I was just born to be an analytical thinker.... is it a character flaw or is it a valuable tool and trait?

I think it is both. When I get into law school and become a lawyer I believe it will be a very valuable tool in making me a successful lawyer. I think it will be something I will be very grateful for in years to come. However, when it comes to relationships and that person or persons who mean the very most to me I think its a double edged sword. While its important to think before you speak and to try and communicate clearly, its is just as important (if not MORE important) to be spontaneous and simple. Often the calculated speaking comes across and lacking sincerity and thus doesn't have the same meaning to those you love. Also when you thin and calculate too much you end up missing out on fun experiences like giving Kendra a snow bath, or going and getting frosty's and fries on a whim and eating them in a parking lot while listening to sappy late night radio. Those type of experiences are so important in a relationship. I girl needs to know that you are FUN and that you can let your hair down and read a Dr. Seuss book to her and her mom and sister. So there are times when you need to go NIKE and 'just do it' and not worry about the consequences. I know that I will certainly work on being more spontaneous. I don't think there is any doubt of my feelings and my commitment to those closest to me but I wonder if they realize that I CAN have fun and let my hair down and just go with the flow. So my January resolution is to not be so calculating when it comes to having fun with those I love.

In thinking about this today I did come to one conclusion that I think is worth sharing. As I mentioned before I take information and observations that are in front of me and I try to sort them, solid facts, possibly fact, not sure of the validity, and false. If things are accepted as solid facts then I don't analyze them past that point. If there are enough 'solid facts' for me to feel confident in the course of action or in the course that something is taking then I wont analyze it. I am capable of being spontaneous and doing things on a feeling rather than simply on logic but I can only do that if I am confident of the situation.... I'm trying hard to be better at leaving logic out of relationships but I think if there are enough solid facts about the course it is taking then I will be less likely to calculate every move and every word. That's just my opinion.... take it for what its worth.

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