Lucky Charmer: You're Missing the Best Part

The activities of this past week have really got me thinking about 'jokes' I've played on people in the past. I'm assuming the Lucky Charmer was simply out to have a laugh and confuse the snot out of me.... mission accomplished, but I have some pointers for the LC. It is true that playing a trick on someone is tons of fun, and it might seem that its the most fun when nobody knows who played the prank. I, personally, beg to differ. It is a lot more fun to tell the person you did it and then see the look on their face to know that YOU 'got them' so to speak. While thinking about this today I remembered probably one of my favorite.... feuds... from high school that illustrates this point very well.

When I was a freshman in high school my brother Kyle, was a senior. He and his friends were having a party in the basement of our house and I had a few of the fellas over playing risk at the kitchen table upstairs (Yes, I am a risk nerd and proud of it). Well some people knocked on the front door to inquire as to where my brother and his friends were at (their cars were all parked around the block). I told them and directed them to the door that goes into our basement. About an hour later some of my brother's friends came in and asked who had trashed their cars. We did some figuring and concluded that the kids had never went around to the basement door so it must have been them that had trashed the vehicles. When I say trashed I mean that they had done the whole toilet paper thing (very elementry warefare if I do say so myself) to all the vehicles but one. My brother had a 1950 Chevy pickup that had just recently been painted a beautiful blue color. They had dumped pickles and pickle juice all over his truck! The acids in the vinegar used to make pickles is highly corrosive to paint! So, while Kyle would never have been involved in such things his friends decided to get even. One of his female friends (who incidently was VERY goodlooking to us poor little freshmen) asked us if we wanted to go with them to get 'even'. Well, of course we did!

We drove to a gas station outside of town and bought every form of condiments you could ever imagine, lemonade, and toiletpaper. We then drove to the girl's house and "did up her boyfriend's car the right way" with honey on his steering wheel and gear shift, bbq sauce under the door handles, and other stuff all over the car (but nothing that would eat the paint off the rust bucket). We then realized that we had done absolutly nothing to the girl's car. We brainstormed about what we could do to her car and came up with putting a baby calf in her car but quickly decided that was a bad idea and settled on pigeons unstead! We drove to a barn outside of town and caught two of them and then drove back to her house and quickly put them in her car. We honestly figured when they found his car messed up they'd notice the pigeons in her car and liberate them.... We found out from the police on my front steps the next day that we had sadly overestimated their intelligence and the birds had spent an eventful night of doing what pigeons do best in her car (pooping, pecking, scratching, and pooping much much more). Well long story short the cops thought it was my brother and I was more than willing to let him take the fall until I realized how big a shame it would be to not get credit for the best retaliation ever (atleast to that point in my life)! So we confessed our evil (albeit ingenious) deeds and explained that they had dumped corrosive liquids on Kyle's truck. Needless to say nothing happened besides the cops telling us we needed to apologize for our actions, which we never did because we didnt think we were in the wrong and refused to dam our souls by lying. That was my first real feud to be involved in and it was definatly the first time my parents had the cops show up at their house (my older brothers weren't much fun apparently).

The moral of the story is that whoever lucky charmed me is missing out on the best part! That is the part where they fess up to their acts and reap the rewards of playing their little trick on me. No need to worry about pigeons in your car eithe because I'm now an adult (and the important fact that I dont know where to find any pigeons in Logan) and don't really want a record. As for the brownies I came to the conclusion that you must not be able to cook and thus you didn't bring me my much deserved brownies.... Oh well!